Socks are only for bowling. 
You never use an umbrella because the rain will be over in five minutes. 
A good parking place has nothing to do with distance from the store, but everything to do with shade. 
Your winter coat is made of denim. 
You can tell the difference between fire ant bites and mosquito bites. 
You’re younger than thirty but some of your friends are over 65. 
Anything under 70 degrees is chilly. 
You’ve driven through Yeehaw Junction. 
You know that no other grocery store can compare to Publix.  
Every other house in your neighborhood had blue roof in 2004-2005. 
You know that anything under a Category 3 just isn’t worth waking up for. 
You dread love bug season. 
You are on a first name basis with the Hurricane list. They aren’t Hurricane Charley or Hurricane Frances. You know them as Andrew, Charley , Frances, Ivan, Jeanne & Wilma, Irene, Cheryl,Rita, Mary, Alison……. 
You know what a snowbird is and when they’ll leave (with a Canadian and/or New Yorker under each arm). 
You think a six-foot alligator is actually pretty average.
‘Down South’ means Key West 
Flip-flops are everyday wear. Shoes are for business meetings and church, but you HAVE worn flip flops to church before AND bedroom slippers to Home Depot. 
You have a drawer full of bathing suits and one sweatshirt. 
You get annoyed at the tourists who feed seagulls. 
A mountain is any hill, bridge, 100 feet above sea level. 
You know the four seasons really are: Hurricane season, love bug season, tourist season and summer.   
You’ve hosted a hurricane party. 
You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee , Withlacoochee , Thonotosassa and Micanopy (My great great grandfather was born there and was in the Civil War.) 
You understand why it’s better to have a friend with a boat, than have a boat yourself. 
You were 25 when you first met someone who couldn’t swim. 
You’ve worn shorts and used the A/C on Christmas and New Years. 
You recognize Miami-Dade as ‘Northern Cuba’  
You not only forward this but you understand it!